What do you call a man who texts you at 4:30 am?  

Married.  

Sorry Vic, you seemed a good prospect and you are handsome.  

By Boy, 

 Oh, and another reason I broke up with you is so I don't have to hear your condescending tone anymore, so don't contact me again.  

PS: You have an odd idea of what it means to be a friend 

...this is a gaslight.  

 She broke the girl code!  It was bad enough that I had to break up with him because he had a crush on her, but I never thought she'd act on it!  Wow, it's amazing what a friend will do to get a man.  I could see it coming a mile away, too. Like a freight train, I couldn't stop it. It's devastating to lose a friend, especially one who had (we thought) been a rock during COVID. It's like high school all over again, I can't believe I have to deal with this shit at this age.  It was like he was courting her for the past several months while dating me.  As my best friend, she was always there. Then I noticed that he never saw me without her. Hmm strange, right? Now the two of them can spend all their time together.  I'm out!  

 What are the qualifications for working in a dispensary? Overheard in Boulder Creek, CA

"Well, I started growing pot at age 15, outdoors.  I spent most of my life trying not to have my house, my job, my kids, my car,  taken away from me.  Once legalization started, I was working selling clones for a popular shop in town.  Lots of people came for my advice on plants and growing.  I started to feel like that dispensary was getting too big, too commercial.  Now I work here, and if I can stay here until I am retired, I would love it!"